Take Wise Decisions

Decide to lose.
When engaged in a battle of words with a family member, decide to lose the argument. You will emerge victorious, with the twin bounty of peace and humility in your hands.

Decide to say something.
If you hear someone insulting another or judging others by their looks, color, race or religion, decide to not remain quiet. Say something. Let it be known that you don’t agree.

Decide to make every day special.
Take a decision that every day will be special. Decide to value every moment and be grateful for life.

Decide to discover the joy in small things.
It’s human tendency to wait for happiness to come along. While we are waiting, we feel anxious. Decide to look for joy that surrounds you 24 hours a day.

Decide to take time out for yourself.
You will not become a martyr to your family for sacrificing your health for their sake. You will be blamed instead. So, decide to take care of your physical and mental health.

Decide to be spontaneous.
Take a walk in the middle of the day, or bake cookies, or play in the backyard with your children, or take a comedy break. Be spontaneous.

Decide to break the tension.
Look at your face in the mirror and make a funny face. Shake off the tension and the gloom by laughing at yourself.

Tragedies teach us

The horrific events that unfolded on September 11, 2001 sent shock waves throughout the U.S. 23 years later, we can still vividly remember where we were on that morning and recall the whole gamut of emotions we felt in the aftermath. Our world was never going to be the same again. A dark cloud hovered for a long time over our collective consciousness and individual minds.

At the same time, there is always a silver lining behind every dark cloud. Every tragedy forces us to accept truths that are otherwise too uncomfortable for us to reflect on. Every tragedy leaves us with lessons that we have no choice but to accept, simply because they stare us glaringly in the face. We saw on that sad day that life is unpredictable, and death is inevitable. When those who perished on that day left home in the morning they did not think that this was going to be their final day on earth. None of us is privy to that information.

Tragedies also force us to accept that life doesn’t always remain the same. Life is not a stagnant pond. Life is an ever-flowing river. Things change; people change; situations change. The only constant in life is ‘change’.

When faced with excruciatingly difficult situations in life, we learn that we humans are resilient creatures. When we are in the depths of despair, we have no way to go except up. We cry; we grieve; we become despondent, but then we rise up. We rebuild ourselves and continue to live, hopefully wiser, due to the lessons tragedy has taught us.

An Ending Leads to a New Beginning

We hear and use the expression, “Everything good must come to an end one day.” We speak these words with a regretful sigh. We lament the passing of something good that we had in life. It’s true that everything good comes to an end one day. It’s also true that everything bad comes to an end one day. If a marriage comes to an end, the abuse, fights and arguments between two people also come to an end. If a popular boys’ band breaks up, it is the beginning of a solo career for band members. When high school education comes to an end, college life begins.

Rather than grieving the end of something we hold dear, let’s celebrate the beginning of something new. When spring comes to an end, summertime arrives. When summer comes to an end, the autumn season arrives. When autumn comes to an end, winter begins. Every season has its own beauty worth noticing and appreciating.

When life as we knew it comes to an end, challenges begin. It’s a waste of time brooding over the changes and wishing everything to have remained the same. We should live constructively by embracing challenges and adapting ourselves to meet these challenges. We should also keep in mind that challenges will also come to an end one day.

We reminisce about the ‘good old days.’ We mourn the days that will never return. While mourning the loss of our past, we overlook the present which is not bad at all. The days of the past had to end for the present to arrive. Appreciate the new beginnings rather than holding on to the past.

The caterpillar must shed its former self for the butterfly to arrive. Every ending leads to a new beginning.

Best Things to Give

Giving to others brings immense satisfaction to the mind. There is a great need for givers in the world; there always has been and will always be. We are children of the most magnanimous and generous God who never tires of giving. Let’s try to follow in His footsteps. I will begin by giving some suggestions:

• Give your attention. Listen carefully to what people are saying, especially children and the elderly. We often tend to dismiss them.

• Give your time. Best gift is the gift of time. We all claim not to have enough time; so giving it means you are giving a very precious gift.

• Give benefit of the doubt. We do disservice to others by jumping to conclusions. We give due respect to others by giving them benefit of the doubt.

• Give a smile. You can brighten a dull day with your smile. You can lift someone’s spirits with your sweet smile. Smile, please.

• Give a surprise. Send flowers for no reason. Give a surprise visit. Surprise someone going through hardship with a hearty meal or by cleaning up their home and doing their laundry.

• Give your help. If you are a handyman, help those who need something done around the house but are physically unable to do it. If you are young and healthy, extend a helping hand to the elderly and the physically ill.

• Give financial help. In the present climate your friends and family members may not have enough to even pay the rent or the mortgage; so don’t wait for them to ask. Extend financial help without being asked.

Turn Chore into Pleasure

A new bride called her mother in tears and told her that she didn’t want to stay with her husband as he was very mean to her. Her concerned mother asked, “What did he do?” The bride said, “Mother, he uses so many 4-letter words.” The mother was shocked and said, “That doesn’t sound like him.” Her daughter replied, “He keeps using words like ‘Cook, Bake, Wash, Iron’.”

You can surely identify with this young lady. Chores do not evoke pleasure; only pain. When you think of a chore, you are likely to think of something you ‘have’ to do; not something you ‘want’ to do. Fact is that you are stuck with chores; there is no way to get rid of them. While you can’t change the fact that you will have to cook, clean, sweep, mop, do the dishes and tackle the laundry, you can change your attitude about your daily work.

The Bhagavad Geeta says, “Whatever you do, offer it to God.” When understood, these simple words can transform the way you look at everything in life. In fact, these words can transform your entire life. Whenever you are engaged in doing a chore, visualize your sweet Lord beside you or in front of you. Think that you are cleaning the house for Him. As you prepare a meal, think that you are cooking for Him. The clothes you are washing belong to Him. Imagine the smile on His face as He shows satisfaction with the way you serve Him.

Following this practice will benefit you in two ways. First benefit is that your chores will no longer be dreary. Second benefit is that while you may be externally washing, cleaning, cooking, sweeping and mopping, internally you will be practicing devotion all day long.

Note: You may direct your spiritual questions to me directly at s_didi@radhamadhavsociety.org